Most Wittiest collection of Funny Quotes and Sayings. Be Ready to get yourself LOLED :).

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
Adam Carolla

When in doubt, mumble.

Men are the best cooks, because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, he can fill a girl’s tummy for nine months.

Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it’s probably a crap.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

10-fun-facts10 Fun Facts

1- You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
2- You can’t count your hairs.
3- You can’t breathe through your nose, with your tongue out.
4- You just tried No.3.
6- When you did No.3 you realized it’s possible only you look like a dog.
7- You’re smiling right now because you’re fooled.
8- You skipped No. 5.
9- You just checked to see if there’s No. 5
10- Share this with your friends to have some fun too. :)

Sometimes I wish my dog could talk, but then I remember all the crazy shit he’s witnessed me doing.

That awkward moment when you think you do a silent fart and it comes out like a machine gun.

My goal for 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should have done in 2013 because I made a promise in 2012 which I planned on keeping back in 2011. :)

You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.