Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.

A BOSS is like a diaper.. Always on your ass, and usually full of sh … it

when a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.:D

Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

11- Sweetest kiss- On the head. Loveliest kiss- On cheeks! Most romantic kiss- On the lips! & the hottest kiss? On The bike’s silencer

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.

My husband and I
divorced over religious
differences – He
thought he was God.

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.

Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush…I mean it about the toothbrush.
Unknown

I dig,
you dig,
We dig,
he dig,
they dig….

It is not a a beautiful poem but it’s very deep.

I wonder If a bra is called an ‘over the shoulder bolder holder’, then what would you call men underwear?
It would be known as under the but nut hut?

Whenever you are feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”. LOLZZZ

Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.
Unknown

Ever wondered why need to pee intensifies when you are unlocking the door? :)

10 FUN FACTS:

1- You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
2- You can’t count your hairs.
3- You can’t breathe through your nose, with your tongue out.
4- You just tried No.3.
6- When you did No.3 you realized it’s possible only you look like a dog.
7- You’re smiling right now because you’re fooled.
8- You skipped No. 5.
9- You just checked to see if there’s No. 5
10- Share this with your friends to have some fun too. :)

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.
Rich Hall

Dear Santa,
Please send me a baby brother.

 

Santa Wrote back,
“Send me your mother….”

LOLZZZZZZZDon’t forget to share this funny pic with your friends. Everyone deserves laughter. :)

Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!

When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year old married couple smile everyone wonders why..!!! :) :)

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
Minnie Pearl

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin

A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Nancy Reagan

Dancing is like a shower: one wrong turn and you’re in hot water!

All my life I thought air was free……
until I bought a bag of chips.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.


Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it’s probably a crap.



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