Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited… and for me it was between the two buildings going down… I had to do it, otherwise they’d win.
When you fall asleep tonight, I’m gonna fart in your face.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
That awkward moment when you’ve already said ‘what?’ 3 times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree!
10 Fun Facts
1- You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
2- You can’t count your hairs.
3- You can’t breathe through your nose, with your tongue out.
4- You just tried No.3.
6- When you did No.3 you realized it’s possible only you look like a dog.
7- You’re smiling right now because you’re fooled.
8- You skipped No. 5.
9- You just checked to see if there’s No. 5
10- Share this with your friends to have some fun too.
When in doubt, mumble.