That awkward moment when you’ve already said ‘what?’ 3 times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree!
Currently browsing : 500+ Funny Quotes that will definitely make you laugh out loud.
When in doubt, mumble.
Men are the best cooks, because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, he can fill a girl’s tummy for nine months.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk, but then I remember all the crazy shit he’s witnessed me doing.
You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
Quitting facebook is the new, adult version of running away from home. We all know you’re doing it for attention, And we all know that you’ll be back.
I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.
You’re about as pleasant as an itchy butthole.
I just Googled “what do women REALLY want?” My computer crashed.
Don’t follow my footsteps. I run into walls.
IfI am extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me or I can’t handle your shit .
Have fun figuring out which. 🙂
I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.